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January 26 Misery 周三开始期末考。
早晨起来，
发现眼睛是红的。
布满血丝。
很久没哭过了。
怀疑自己是不是害了红眼病。
妈妈说，
太累了吧。
晚上回到家，再照镜子。
稍稍褪了些。
只有一团似火的。
执拗着。
然后，三天之后，
终于消退。
期末考结束。
麻木了，
不会流泪了。
感知不到的火，
蔓延了。满眼。
发现自己，
不会怒了。只剩下，火。
January 19 fancy' |say. 今天上Q，
哥問我是不是考試考完了
我說沒有
他說那還上網阿
哥不是一個愛學習的孩子
那麽是不是
我在他眼裏是個只會讀書的孩子。
今天午自休的時候
很興奮的往教室後走。
說：我要踢毽子。
旁列擡頭看我
很奇怪的眼神
沒有驚訝
是不解，和稍稍彎下的眉
突然发现
自己在不觉中已经变了很多
再也不担心被批
再也不追求高分
再也不在车上背书
开始和老师顶嘴
开始祈求别挂
开始习惯走上车就睡觉
開始不再對任何的他感興趣。
我很快樂。
能和同學一起踢毽子，雖然有時一個都踢不到。
可大家一起笑就很快樂
我很痛苦
每天有好多的作業。每天早上要抄作業，
默寫要打小抄。甚至堂而皇之的看。
芹菜說：人就是一個矛盾体。
是的，
我很快樂，可我的快樂卻消除不了我的痛苦。
我很痛苦，可我依然無所顧忌的快樂。
脖子酸了，眼睛倦了，
想睡了。。。
December 02 no name2.when you feel the slip , when you start to crack
when it's all to hell , know l have you back
whether right or wrong is besides the point
'cause we're more than blood
November 10 If Your Hearts Not In ItI'm missing you even though you're right here by my side Cause lately it seems The distance between us is growing too wide I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over The last thing that I wanna hear If your heart's not in it for real Please don'`t try to fake what you don't feel If love's already gone It's not fair to lead me on Cause I would give the whole world for you Anything you ask of me I'd do But I won't ask you to stay I'd rather walk away If your heart's not in it You say that you love me But baby sometimes, you're just saying the words If you've got something to tell me Don't keep it inside Let it be heard I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over Girl I'll make it easy for you How I wish I could take us in time But it's gone too far now we can't rewind And there's nothing that I can do To stop me loding you I can't make you change your mind If your heart's not in it... no name.1Guess your never really know him in these days.
The spell of distance between your hearts,
it never goes away.
time to give up,
time to fall deeper.
let me choose one,right now.
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